BP Plugs IN the Well & I'm Tuning OUT

So, it appears that BP may have finally plugged in that oil well that has been plaguing the Gulf area for so long. I was beginning to wonder if BP simply thought that they could just ignore the situation in the Gulf, as if it were going to disappear on its own. Well, after months of drama, it may be possible that this crisis is beginning to slowly creep to an end. There is much to still deal with afterwards, even if this attempt at plugging the well is successful. But, I am curious. Did BP lose interest in what was going on across the Atlantic? The company has made so many missteps and errors.

Even now, there appear to be many residents and business owners that are complaining about BP not following through on its promise to financially cover the losses of those who have suffered, as a result of this horrendous spill. I find that unfortunate, being that the executives of BP gave their word that they would follow through. Is it that their word is worth no more than that---just a bunch of words? It seems to be so. I have been reflecting upon the concept of that notion, "Your word is your bond." And, it seems that I have also faltered in that area. I gave my word to see this blog through as an intended process to facilitate personal growth and I have failed.

For the last couple of weeks or so, I must admit to myself and anyone that may be reading this that I have been distracted by many personal matters, which I have had to deal with as of late, and neglected to keep this promise to myself. As I witness what is going on in the Gulf, via news reports and the personal statements of those who reside in that region, I have come to realize that it is the empty words of the BP executives that are destroying the Gulf residents' optimism. So, is it not possible that if the empty words stated by others could affect many in such a way, could it not be possible that the empty words or lack of action by one's self could be even more detrimental to that same person?

By my not following through with my word of seeing this personal project through (though that was never my intention), is it not possible that I could also be hurting myself more than any other person potentially could? I am on this journey to improve myself and I have noticed that I have allowed myself to become bogged down with other issues, keeping me sidetracked from achieving the goal that I had set for myself. It is human nature to be overwhelmed at some points in life, but it is important that I learn not to let any one thing or person overtake my pursuit of the goals that would could set me on a clear path to success. That is what this BP situation has taught me, in a somewhat indirect way.

Maybe, in the future, I will be able to look at other situations, that I am confronted with either directly or indirectly, and gleam some method of understanding that will be applicable to my own life? At least, I hope so because I am tired of burning my hand on the stove, just to find out that it was really hot in the end. And, maybe BP is, too. We can only hope. :)

Rick Ro$$ Disses the Honey Bun...

In a world where the headlines read: "50 Cent Disses Diddy" and "Kanye West Disses Taylor Swift," I believe that it would be more refreshing to read something more amusing like, "Rick Ro$$ Disses the Honey Bun." As hilarious as the idea is, we all know it could never happen because Rick Ro$$ looks like he's been involved in a love affair with the honey bun since time untold. For that reason alone, there doesn't seem like there will be a break-up impending any time soon between the two. But, I do chuckle a little to myself at the thought.

However, I digress. My point is that, though this sort of headline would peak my interest and that of many others, I really should not have any care as to why 50 Cent felt compelled to throw Diddy under the bus and insult his music, to include Diddy's inability to make a product worth purchasing as of late. I could simply choose not to buy any of his products, right? Or should I care? As you can tell, I've already read the article...what can I say? I have a weak spot for the gossip columns. But, as far as the question is concerned...many people would agree that the details of this story are none of my business.

So, why are we all intrigued with the personal business of others? I mean, I'm sure Kanye felt like enough of an ass on his own, without the need for millions of others to read and re-read the articles written about his actions and review the clips of his tirade over and over? And, don't we all know that 50 Cent will never stop starting drama within the industry? It is clearly a part of who he is or, at least, his public persona and no surprise, considering his last few beefs within the industry. Maybe it would serve better to ignore the comments entirely and pay 50 Cent no mind?

The truth is that it is only Sean Combs' ego that would end up bruised in the end. I don't know about you but I've never known Diddy to be the most aggressive guy in the world. I'm sure that his PR people will come up with some sort of ingenious plan to save his machismo...or whatever part of it is left. Quite possibly, it is the concept that most people seem to inherently hate the idea of someone bullying another person, especially one who is seen as either weaker or incapable of defending themselves.

Yet, what would be your response if some foreigner was being thrown racist remarks right in the middle of your favorite local grocery store because of his accent? Or, how would you react if a woman was being beat in the middle of the street by her abusive boyfriend? Most people would be more than a little disturbed, but would they react in a way that would help the victim? Or, would they observe the incident and continue on with the rest of their day as if nothing had really happened? Both options are extremely possible and likely to occur.

It is important to understand and recognize that situations similar to these cases do generally have the effect of disturbing or jarring the people that witness them. Ironically though, few people are willing to stand up for people that are going through these experiences, whether they know them or not. And, it has been proven in a few studies that only when one person finally proves the courage to stand up and defend the person being attacked, do others finally feel compelled to do the same.

I remember that there was a kid that went to my high school that ended up taking his own life because no one defended him from the bullies in his life, among whom included his own father. What would have happened if someone had stood up on his behalf? We will never know the person he would have turned out to be. I write this particular entry because, today, I witnessed another person being pushed around and tried to stand up for that person. However, no one else around me was willing to do the same.

I understand that cynicism and just plain, simple cruelty does exist in this world. But, it hurts me each and every time that I see no one willing to what is right, morally and ethically (I won't even get into the religious aspect of why it is wrong to do so). I just see a lot of people willing to walk the other way. I am very naive in that respect and it could be that it is time for me to just accept that this is how the world works. Nevertheless, I remain optimistically hardheaded and unskeptical in my continued hope that there are others who will prove the opposite...that people do really care.

Say, Say, Say that you love Michael Jackson...

Alrighty folks....one year has passed since the King of Pop's passing and I must say that I truly miss him. But, I can't be the only one because he really was a force to be reckoned with in terms of talent and accomplishment. I can admit to the world that when I was a little girl, I thought that Michael Jackson was the one that I admired so much that I actually dreamed of this man actually being my husband (..."Oh the thinks you can think"...thanks Dr. Seuss for that sentiment...lol). Isn't that crazy?!! I was all of five years old and just believed that Michael was the hottest thing since Fisher Price came up with the Big Wheel...because sliced bread just didn't cut it in this case :o) Since we didn't have cable, I would stay up late nights on Fridays to watch Friday Night Video on regular television.

Sowwy but I had to make do with what we had...

I would ask my mother for a Michael Jackson button, Thriller and Beat It jackets (to my chagrin she said no to both), and t-shirts. One day, she finally got me that Michael Jackson t-shirt and I remember how it looked to this very day. It was red and white-striped with an iron-on transfer picture of the man himself. I wore that shirt until it was faded and didn't fit. We will not even discuss how upset I was to find out that my mother had given it to a relative. I don't even know why I was so disappointed. I could barely wear the thing anymore. I suppose that it was my only real connection to him with the exception to his music. I wanted any and everything that had to do with the man, but it seems that some of the people that were close to him wanted that and a whole lot more...which eventually cost Michael his life. Hence, today's lesson in living and another step in my journey to evolve:

Be careful of the company that you keep and make sure that those who are closest to you have your best interests at heart. There are only a select few who are capable of doing this well and to the point that they will value your friendship enough to look out for your well being no matter the situation. So, today's task is to take inventory of those people whom are in my life and discern who is genuinely in my life for all of the right reasons. I have a vision of where I want to be in the future. Who are the people that I can still see by my side 5 years from now? 10 years? 20 years?

There is a saying that some people are only meant to be in our lives for a season and sometimes we tend to hold on to those people just a bit longer than we were meant to. Holding on to these "temporary" people can have a negative effect on us and prevent us from experiencing the growth that we need to carry us onto the next step in life. Which people are the leaves that eventually blow away? Which ones are the branches that seem strong but eventually grow weak and break away? And, who are the people that have laid down roots that are dug down deep and securely into the soil (By the way, thanks Madea for the visual representation)? These are the things that I will ponder as a part of my new journey.

Good night!

IN GOD WE TRUST...as long as He's on the internet

Let's see...

Blog post number 1...CHECK

On to more topics...

Just in case...I end up having any followers on this blog 'O mine... I wanted to thank you for reading and joining me along for this ride.

I have decided that one thing I will adapt on this journey is to recognize any faults (or improvements that I should make) that I may have that could be preventing me from achieving the growth that I am so fervently seeking (think Decepticons searching for an Energon cube). Thus, as I have so keenly observed, one major fault that I possess is my continuos habit of reading the internet but neglecting my beautiful book collection. After all, maybe my new soon-to-be acquired habit of reading may aide me in deciphering a map...or being able to now "know my ABCs!" Isn't a shame?!! I've been faking this whole time ;o)

The point is...I want to become a better person and more well-rounded. In order to do so, I must change my past (or soon-to-be past) scandalous ways...like posting myself against the couch like Al Bundy while watching the football (and yes, I do love my football...what am I going to do without McNabb there for me to yell at), throwing up the bird at the 1st person to cause me added grief in a traffic jam (adapting a calm demeanor is next on the list of things to do...lol), or cursing at the television when Andy Reid makes a stupid play call (trust me, he and I have had a couple of talks or two in my head). So, reading the newspaper and a book, whether fictional or non-fictional, is on the list. I must break myself away from getting all of my sources of entertainment and information from this blasted online format.

By the way, if anyone has any other suggestions, I am all for hearing them. Please submit them, as I am open to any feedback opposed to always being subjected to the one-sidedness of my own biased viewpoints. Thank you and good night! "Adieu, Adieu to you and you and you-ou!!" *Sound of Music voice*

1st Entry---Day Numero Uno

This is my first real attempt at this (*Note to all who may ever venture here or to the invisible people that I wish were reading this but are probably doing something else like watching paint dry or catching raindrops at the tips of their tongues...lol*), so I am not only a work-in-progress wannabe blogger but also a work-in-progress 30 year-old, struggling to find her way in this world. This idea came to me as a way to sort my thoughts out, gain perspective and hopefully, gain some valuable insight into the person that I want to become.

I always imagined myself becoming something great, growing up. But, then again, who doesn't?!! I dreamed of becoming an entertainer, singer, poet, actress-type, who would grace Hollywood movies, magazine covers, and attend awesome celebrity parties. And, on the other side of the coin, I would give back to my community, former schools, and so forth. However, that has not happened as of yet and I am quite alright with that.

Yet, what I do miss about childhood dreaming is the idea of being able to see that dream and still envision some smidgen of a possibility that particular dream could come true. When you are a child, you are fearless in almost every venture (except for maybe the occasional bully that may come your way...when you were 6 years old, all of a scrawny bit of 43 lbs...wanting a piece of your treasured brownie cake, that you saved the night before for your lunch...that's never happened to me but let's just say that if it did happen, I would have been very disappointed and afraid). What happened to that spirit? Where did it go? Perhaps the Red Bull Cliff Diving team took all of it, when I wasn't looking to store it for a day when they were needing it most? I really don't know.

I remember watching the Van Halen "Jump!" video, when I was 4 and thinking, I would love to jump off of those speakers and onto that stage, just like David Lee Roth. Where is that person? Well, this is my attempt to find that person....to get that person back and find out where the hell she has been all of this time. I am looking for her to tell her that she has been missed and needs to get her butt back here ASAP...lol! Unfortunately, my fear is that if I ever met her again I would give her a stern talking-to, tell her to grow up, get serious, and sit her in the corner for a little time-out. That is who I've become.

I'm a single mother, who has thrown herself in the house, afraid to come out. I've gone into the Army, been honorably discharged, gone to college, and graduated, only to face a dismal economy with very few job prospects to mention. Now, I have re-enrolled in college, this time, hoping to come out with a Biochemistry A.S. (a focus which is so far from the International Business and Finance degrees that I currently hold), and a clear path set to medical school. I am trying to give my childhood dreams one more try, as I had previously given up on becoming a doctor (the dream I had after the faded lights and Hollywood glory disappeared into the sunset...wink, wink), because I just did not have faith that I would ever be able to see this through to it's entirety.

So, bear witness http://www.30yearsandstillcounting.blogspot.com/! Whether I do this on my own, without anyone to speak of or with others to accompany me, THIS IS THE JOURNEY! This is my trailblazing path to become all of the things I want to be, to include continuously supporting my daughter in every respect, but also becoming more adventurous, risk-taking, and honestly....more my age. Let's be honest, I am a 60 year-old woman trapped in a 30 year-old woman's head...and that ain't cute (corrects grammar in my head...smh)! There are so many things that I will work on during this time. I just hope that others will be along for the ride with me. Later :D